Life on Facebook

Let me tell you how I live my Facebook life.

Firstly, you see, I need to become popular, and ‘Like’ is the unit of popularity. So after posting anything, just any crap, I press the ‘Like’ button myself! No kidding, this is an expression of self confidence. How can someone else like it if I myself do not! After some introspection, I think I figured out the real reason. What would I do when I see a random post (like one of mine 😉 ) from my friend? I would bother myself to look at it only if it certified by at least one ‘Like’.  Who will take the risk on doing a first certification ? Likewise. There is yet another benefit – the like count goes up by one. And sometimes, when my post is an absolute generic crap, it has saved my face from zero likes.

You know, I am a great connoisseur of art. At least I have to  show it off to look cool. The easiest way to achieve this is to repost already cool photos posted by my friends. I do not like some of the photos I post, but you have to do these things to remain popular. To show off the genuine artist in me I post my own random photos, like real bull shit, or my own torn rubber chappals, all shot on my cheap cell phone’s 10 MP camera. Tagging makes it much easier to tell my friends that they have some assignment.

Another nice thing about Facebook is how it helps to keep us informed. Like knowing the right moment Facebook will become a paid service, and how to avoid being charged by forwarding the message to 19 friends. I was surprised when one the prophecies which promised a surprise on the next morning turned out to be fluke. See it too was true. I have helped uncountable  charitable causes by sharing disfigured photos, grammatically incorrect and logically inconsistent passages, and other crap on my Wall. I know Facebook pays one cent for each share. Doubt these claims? Why take a chance in these important matters?

My Friend count is another status parameter in the Facebook world, and I am nearing a thousand friends. So what if I do not know most of them? I have punks, addicts, psychopaths, and people who include cryptic words and characters in their profile names. Not to mention those who use vigorously disfigured or indescent profile pics. I know these friends are just true people – like you and me.

I get a high every time I see those red numbers at the top left. There are rumours that I try to live my dream of a glorious life on Facebook to forget my reality. But stay assured all that is a propaganda. Sai Baba’s blessings automatically appear on my wall once every few days. I know I am on the right path!